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I thought about this on another post, and decided to make it it's own, so here I go.

For fun, and in honor of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, I wanna know what obscure or dumb video game you would like to see Uwe Boll direct, or be any way a part of. You could even choose a decent game that you just think would make a terrible movie. And touching Uwe's hands, you know it will be terrible. Be creative. Think up a wierd name like the new Dungeon Siege movie, make some crappy casting decisions, give a basic outline of the plot. Just have fun.

Also, as a bonus, you could also throw in who you'd like to see Uwe box with, because he likes to.

Here we go - Castle Wolfenstien: Nazi X-Termination:
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin plays William "B.J." Blazkowicz, lowly private POW who realizes that he is so badass that he can take down the entire Nazi regime all by himself. He fights his way out of the castle all the way to the headquarters of the Fuhrer himself, played by Udo Kier. The love intrest would be played by Tara Reid. She would be a German barmaid who helps him escape, but she is torn between her love for her country and her new love for rugged Mr. Cold. And, of course, she would be doing a German accent and doing it terribly, like all the things Tara does.

There. Take a look, Signior Boll, I just gave you pure cinematic gold, right out of my 'ole head meat, yessiree I did. I just made the perfect movie for you. I want a story credit though. And a casting director credit. On second thought, put my story credit down as Alan Smithee.

God, I hope he actually does read things like this so he knows the kind of disdain the people have for him. He can't even make good crappy movies, like Dragon Wars.

Escape From Communist China

An army of cannibal skanks[Tara Reid,Kristanna Loken,Jessica Alba,Jordana Brewster] try to escape from the prison 100 feet underground. Once they escape their goal is to kill Chineese dicatator Lang Wi[George Takei] and his gay lover[Ben Kingsley] from taking over the world.

Ah Boll take this you will make 10,000 hey thats more than BloodRayne made

I would seriously watch the castle wolfenstein movie. That is an amazing premise moorland. Please find a way to deliver that to his hands.

Duck Hunt
Clint Howard plays the hunter who must protect his farm from genetically engineered mutant ducks created by evil scientist Jamie Kennedy who is using the ducks to take over the world.

Oh my god I would so watch that movie too!

Damn, I'm Lookin' Good - The Duke Nukem 3D Story

Duke Nukem - Dolph Lundgren, Holo-Duke - Brian Bosworth, Pig-Cop - Bob Hoskins, Stripper - Bai Ling

Great casting for Duke Nukem. God Bai Ling is terrible. It's pretty funny, cause I actually just saw an Inside the Actor's Studio where they interviewed Brian Bosworth on the acting craft. Man is James Lipton stooping low. He had an hour long espisode for his J Lo interview. How can J Lo talk about acting for an hour?

This has got to be the most hilarious thread I've ever read on FM. Mooreland, Transformers, StnMan, diamond, great stuff!

Demonic Alligator of the Damned

Tara Reid, Devon Aoki, Jaime Pressley, Elisha Cuthbert, Christian Slater, David Hasselhoff, Freddie Prinze Jr., Sylvester Stallone....i dare anyone to formulate a cast with less combined talent!!!! go on, i double-dare you, motha-f@$#a!!!!

Four college girls are on holiday in the Caribbean when the island becomes terrorised by a gigantic biped alligator, and it's up to David Hasselhoff and his sidekicks to fight killer crabs, walking swordfish and ninja sharks and finally slay the monster to save the island!!!!

NFL Blitzkrieg - No Matter The Cost, Even If Is 99 Cents

Cuba Gooding Jr. plays a Jeff Muscle, a roided up QB in the most Dangerous game known to man. His rival, played by Hayden Christiansen, from the Dallas Evil Dead Monster Truck Boys will stop at nothing to end his team's chances at winning. No matter if means bodyslamming, Jim Carrey, Jeff Muscle's runningback or piledriving Paul Walker, th teams trash talking wide receiver. With special appearances by Steven Segal as the zen like official, Jessica Biel as the big busted cheerleader who has the hots for football players, Keanu Reeves as the all star agent. Next January prepare for pain. Prepare for for glory. Prepare to be Blitzed!

hell yeah JackO what a great concept. It's like the replacements on crack!

hey, come on now Jacko....hayden christensen?? jim carrey?? jess biel?? don't be mean, they don't deserve to be associated with Uwe!!!! if there's one talentless retard i missed on my cast, it's seagal though....the man's a moron....like a combo of stallone's expressionlessness and schwarzeneggar's bad acting (hell, just pick their worst qualities and combine them to get....SEAGAL!!!!)

Hey! It's not Segal's fault he makes shitty movies...He can't read. Jesus! Give the guy a break!

I'll give you guys Jim Carrey. That was mean. he isn't that bad. But everyone else stays!

I finally saw a preview for this and despite everyones hatred for Uwe Boll. I think this movie could be pretty good. But thats just my opinion though.
I will however go along with the forum because this is becoming quite the entertaining forum.

I effing love this game and hate to do this but......

God of War: A 2 hour long Ego Trip.
Produced by Mel Gibson
Directed by the Boll
Starring The Rock as Kratos(GOW) and Diane Lane as Athena.
Also starring Jack Nicholson as Zeus and Nathan Jones as Aries the OG GoW.
And a Special appearance by Kevin Sorbo as Hercules.

My Studios

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