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you crack me up, Nico!

Okay, I admit that this posting probably doesn't belong here exactly, but I didn't know where to put it. So I put it on the thread that made the most emotional sense.

I finally saw the Spielberg/ Bay robofest know to the world as Transformers. And I must have seden a different version than everyone else, because, well... I was unamused.

It was big and loud and loaded with special effects and 'realistic' and HAD LITTLE TO NO STORY. If there was a story it was stretche so thin over the 2+ hours of movie that it was near transparent in some places. It was complete style with very little substance. I found the Transformers hard to focus on their 'face' with the excessive details and got gear out real fast. The fight scenes impressive, but never felt tangible, always 'added' in. and Bumblebee as a Camero was just plain wrong.

In some ways, it was exactly what I feared it would be when I saw the trailer. I know I am significantly in the minority on this one, and I am putting the body armor on as I write.

jameydunne
-being a child of the 80's and a watcher and collector of the 80's Transformers movie. I think I actually prefer the cheesy simplicity and unreality of the source materials.

jameydunne wrote:

-being a child of the 80's and a watcher and collector of the 80's Transformers movie. I think I actually prefer the cheesy simplicity and unreality of the source materials.

i'm with ya.... and i REEEEALLY dislike Shia

NSpannaus wrote:

jameydunne wrote:

-being a child of the 80's and a watcher and collector of the 80's Transformers movie. I think I actually prefer the cheesy simplicity and unreality of the source materials.

i'm with ya.... and i REEEEALLY dislike Shia

I actually like Shia. He was the only thing that saved Transformers. He actually brought emotion to an otherwise mediocre action movie.

I thought it was an okay movie. It's a summer blockbuster movie; it's for the masses who watch a movie purely so they could sit there for hours in the a/c. Maybe see some good action too. And some good eye candy (Josh Duhamel...yum).

NSpannus... jameydunne... please go kill yourself now. Preferably, kill yourselves together.

You have failed to see the greatness in Transformers, thus you have failed the test that is life. Please, is there any further point in living? Please take my advice. It will help you dearly.

ohnaut wrote:

NSpannus... jameydunne... please go kill yourself now. Preferably, kill yourselves together.

You have failed to see the greatness in Transformers, thus you have failed the test that is life. Please, is there any further point in living? Please take my advice. It will help you dearly.

I guess I'll just slit my wrists since I only partially liked it.

whatever... the animated movie is 100000x better... look deep down inside yourself, and you'll find that you agree..

Shia is like the annoying kid from Boy Meets World channeling the charismatic powers of Hayden Christensen

lillylovelost wrote:

I actually like Shia. He was the only thing that saved Transformers. He actually brought emotion to an otherwise mediocre action movie.

I thought it was an okay movie. It's a summer blockbuster movie; it's for the masses who watch a movie purely so they could sit there for hours in the a/c. Maybe see some good action too. And some good eye candy (Josh Duhamel...yum).

Aww, lilly, if Shia gets credit for bringing emotion to the table, some leftover scraps gotta go to Bumblebee as well. Theirs was the only meaningful relationship in the entire movie.

To ohnaut's disappointment, I found Transformers rather underwhelming. It's not a "bad" movie, it just didn't live up to expectations, especially the action. Some of it was alright, but the final battle had sequences that were almost unwatchable. Seriously, Michael Bay, can you shoot any action sequences at ANYTHING other than maximum close-up and/or uber-slow mo? 80% of that final battle looked like a bunch of scrap metal rolling down a hill with the camera about 2 feet away from it. Why the hell would you film such bad-ass, GIANT f---ing robots up so close?! Augh. Close-up action might be OK for human beings, but when all robots are shiny-metallic-barely-distinguishable, it's frustrating. I didn't even know who Megatron ripped in two until the VERY end when Optimus carried Jazz's body back. In response to Jazz's "You want a piece of me?", Megatron had the only badass line in the movie, "No, I want TWO", but Bay rushed over it in half a second.

And Optimus was rather unbelievable as a leader sometimes. He pussied out and abandoned Bumblebee. He barely mourned his pal Jazz, someone he supposedly fought side-by-side with for hundreds of years, with something along the lines of "We are sorry one of our comrades died today. Oh well, now we have Sam as a new friend! Hurray!"

Another quibble: how the heck did all the bots get from the Hoover Dam to downtown Los Angeles so quickly? I know Megatron and Starscream can fly, and maybe the President and Sam can take Airforce One, but Optimus and friends only have wheels. They couldn't have possibly made it from Vegas to LA in 15 minutes to battle the Decepticons.

la_resistance28 wrote:

Aww, lilly, if Shia gets credit for bringing emotion to the table, some leftover scraps gotta go to Bumblebee as well. Theirs was the only meaningful relationship in the entire movie.

What about Las Vegas guy's tender moments with his wife over the phone? Aww... that almost had me in tears.

la_resistance28 wrote:

Some of it was alright, but the final battle had sequences that were almost unwatchable. Seriously, Michael Bay, can you shoot any action sequences at ANYTHING other than maximum close-up and/or uber-slow mo? 80% of that final battle looked like a bunch of scrap metal rolling down a hill with the camera about 2 feet away from it.

Look, I have to agree with you there. I too was disappointed with the jittery movement and close-up shots. It was especially frustrating when you watch the movie from 3 rows in front of the screen. But c'mon, the other parts were pretty badass, like when Optimus takes down Bonecrusher on the freeway by ripping his head off with his axeblade. Awesome.

la_resistance28 wrote:

And Optimus was rather unbelievable as a leader sometimes. He pussied out and abandoned Bumblebee. He barely mourned his pal Jazz, someone he supposedly fought side-by-side with for hundreds of years, with something along the lines of "We are sorry one of our comrades died today. Oh well, now we have Sam as a new friend! Hurray!"

Because he was black. Optimus Prime doesn't care for black Autobots much like how The George doesn't care much for black people. Subtext to the film??? Ah-hah, the film's greatness is only increasing by the minute.

la_resistance28 wrote:

Another quibble: how the heck did all the bots get from the Hoover Dam to downtown Los Angeles so quickly? I know Megatron and Starscream can fly, and maybe the President and Sam can take Airforce One, but Optimus and friends only have wheels. They couldn't have possibly made it from Vegas to LA in 15 minutes to battle the Decepticons.

They were... SPEEDING.

Cutting through the desert plains saves a lot of time too.

Also, I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed the two nitrous-oxide tanks below the sides of Jazz. Am I?

I guess I not the only person who was not enamored by Bay's magic.

1. Ohnaut, idle threats do not defend a point. I took the time to defend my review, humor me and do the same.

2. lily and spannus, I have to agree with you on the Shia comment. I like watching him too. I think he has a onscreen charm similar to Tom Hanks and John Cusck. He is cute enough the girls like him and quirky enough that the guys want to hang with him. lily, my wife thinks similarly about Duhamel. She first saw him in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton and liked him ever since.

3. spannus, the animated Transformers movieis glorious 80's cheese, and I love every minute of because I was there when it was released. i don't think it has aged as well as I or any of the children of the 80's would like to admit.

jameydunne
-as much as I dread to say to, the one 80's product I think would translate better to film than people expected in a movie is MASK. Or Night Rider, with the obligatory Haselhoff cameo.

Ah MASK (Crusaders!), now that takes me back- typical me, I had to attempt to collect the more obscure childrens toy. But, damn they were great. Cars becoming tanks. Tanks becoming... better tanks... and helmets that fired stuff (well, with a sprinkle of imagination)- Thank you Jamey, for that burst of 80s nostalgia.

I really, REALLY enjoyed Transformers. I know it is not a film for everyone. I know some people don't like Michael Bay's style. But when I saw this movie I was completely wrapped up in it and on the edge of my seat the entire way through. I thought it had a great plot, great action sequences, Shia did a good job, and it had Meagan Fox, who I could watch for hours and hours personally. I thought the humor was well incorporated and the action sequences were badass. I know it's not for everyone, and it definitely skews to a younger demographic, which may be why I loved it so much.

la_resistance28 wrote:

Aww, lilly, if Shia gets credit for bringing emotion to the table, some leftover scraps gotta go to Bumblebee as well. Theirs was the only meaningful relationship in the entire movie.

Yes, I forgot to mention wonderful Bumblebee. Him and Shia worked together really well in the movie. It's like a hi-tech, 21st century version of Gollum and Frodo.

jameydunne wrote:

2. lily and spannus, I have to agree with you on the Shia comment. I like watching him too. I think he has a onscreen charm similar to Tom Hanks and John Cusck. He is cute enough the girls like him and quirky enough that the guys want to hang with him.

I agree with you. Shia has that offbeat, yet all-american boy charm.

Let's not forget Transformers had Starscream in it. Who was frickin awesome by the way.

Anyways. I challenge anybody who thinks transformers was a lame movie to watch the special features on it. Only then will you see the true genius in the film.

And. if it was that lame. Why did it make 320 million frickin dollars. On the other hand. Spiderman 3 made more and that movie sucked balls. I retract my previous statement.

NSpannaus wrote:

Shia is like the annoying kid from Boy Meets World channeling the charismatic powers of Hayden Christensen

jameydunne wrote:

spannus, I have to agree with you on the Shia comment. I like watching him too.

----woooooosh-----

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