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I tried posting this a couple of times in the Half Year B.O. final round message boards, but it doesn't look like it's coming up. So to prove I care way more than I should about somebody I don't know winning a contest with no prizes, I'm re-re-posting here:

"My apologies if this is a double post, but I think it ate my last one. Anyway, Keyser, ignore Shryke! Get your old slate back! I picked you to win, man! Only you can save my face!

Here's the short version of my longer, eaten post: even crappy Vanguard Animation studios (the makers of Space Chimps) has hit 15 million after a couple of weeks, and that was in the suck of September and January (Valiant and Happily N'Ever After). Plus, this one has space AND chimps! Dude!! Do you even know any kids?! It'll be pocket change compared to Pixar or Dreamworks, but minimum of 15 mil in 18 days, I guarantee.

X-Files is murkier in my mind, but because it's got a pre-sold geek fanbase (whether small or large), it'll be seriously front-loaded to opening weekend. Star Trek: Nemesis did 18 mil in 3 days back in 2002, and all but the most die-hard Trekkies (not me, I swear) couldn't even tell you that movie existed. X-Files ain't Trek, but I'd guess you can get another 15 from that.

So are you really betting on another R-rated Will Ferrell comedy to open bigger than 30 million? It hasn't happened to him yet. Save yourself. Re-grab your monkey/FBI slate before it's too late! Keyser Soze, you're my only hope!"

This is going to get interesting!

He Still doesn't have a Chance to come in any better than third.

I agree with Mutard. Space Chimps look terrible to us, but my kids want to see it, and I won't let them see Dark Knight yet, so send the kids to Space Chimps while we see The Dark Knight. Like he says: to kids, how can "Monkeys In Space" not be fun.

Did you see Burton's version of Planet Of The Apes??

And I am a fan of Burton!!

leestu wrote:

I agree with Mutard. Space Chimps look terrible to us, but my kids want to see it, and I won't let them see Dark Knight yet, so send the kids to Space Chimps while we see The Dark Knight. Like he says: to kids, how can "Monkeys In Space" not be fun.

Reason why it won't: Andy Samberg.

Dare we consider the possibility that 'The X-files:X-filer' might open better than 'Step Bros' as well? I won't be seeing it, but I was never really a fan. I've got a lot (oh, okay, a couple) of friends who are pretty psyched up for it.

Well, after Semi Pro's recent lukewarm reception and less than $15m OW, it is certainly possible. In fact, I will say now " X Files will beat Step Brothers in its OW".

This is gonna come back to bite me....

Andy Samberg isn't a reason Space Chimps will fail. You may not like him, heck, I think he's annoying too, but really, kids don't give a monkey's uncle (see what I just did there?) who the voice actors are. We've had this same discussion before on the forums about Mike Myers and Shrek, and just because Seth Rogen provided his voice for Kung Fu Panda doesn't mean you see all the people who love his stuff with Apatow rushing out to see it. The reverse is true as well -- although some may not like Andy Samberg, HE isn't the chief reason Space Chimps would implode.

What about the sub-par animation, the poor writing and the lame pop culture references?

Now if you want to see a good film about chimps in space, rent Race To Space where James Woods played Werner Von Braun.

Buscemi wrote:

What about the sub-par animation, the poor writing and the lame pop culture references?

Now if you want to see a good film about chimps in space, rent Race To Space where James Woods played Werner Von Braun.

Oh, I agree it looks awful, but this wasn't supposed to be a quality discussion. I'd rather see Step Brothers than either of the other two (I'd rather see an anesthesia-free nutsackectomy than Space Chimps). The post was just me trying to convince Keyser of a math theorum -- that by July 29th:

Space Chimps + X-Files > Step Brothers

But on the "monkeys in space" front, I remember reading on some "movies in development" website back around 1996 about a script that I think was called "Mercury V" or something like that. It was about a couple of chimps from the early days of NASA who'd been launched into space and somehow caught some kind of brain-enhancing virus or radiation or something. The mechanism wasn't important - the big idea was that after coming back, the chimps started spreading the brain enhancement to every animal on earth, turning them against humans.

Sounds like it would probably be terrible, yes, but at the time it was being developed as a Terry Gilliam project. Tell me that wouldn't have been the most insane movie ever. The only other thing I remember was a description of a scene where an old lady is watching a news report about the growing crisis - she looks over and sees that her dozens of cats are all staring at her - they know that she knows.

I have watched that movie in my head roughly a billion times since 1996.

Sounds like Planet Of The Apes meets Village Of The Damned.

I'm guessing Gilliam didn't want to do another "monkey" film after Twelve Monkeys so that probably why it wasn't made. But that along with other unmade Gilliam projects such The Man Who Killed Don Quixote and the six-hour Watchmen film (I still think Watchmen would only work as a six-hour epic either all at once or as two three-hour films) would make great cinema.

Another good "chimps in space" film is Project X with Matthew Broderick and Helen Hunt.

I think X-Files and Space Chimps is a better option that Step Brothers, just because SB is rated R, and X-Files is tracking about the same, so SC will be the one to push it over. Plus I think the chimps can do some okay business this weekend, maybe. But I'll be the second to say, I think X-Files can beat Ferrell and Reilly OW.

Mutie:

Sounds like it would probably be terrible, yes, but at the time it was being developed as a Terry Gilliam project. Tell me that wouldn't have been the most insane movie ever. The only other thing I remember was a description of a scene where an old lady is watching a news report about the growing crisis - she looks over and sees that her dozens of cats are all staring at her - they know that she knows.

I have watched that movie in my head roughly a billion times since 1996

Ummm I wanna own this movie. I am writing Terry right now to get this thing back in production. If not I will write the fucking thing. Sell me the idea!!!!

Donte77 wrote:

Ummm I wanna own this movie. I am writing Terry right now to get this thing back in production. If not I will write the fucking thing. Sell me the idea!!!!

Don't think I haven't had that same thought several times over. Part of the problem is that I can't remember the name of the movie, so I have no idea what the rights situation is right now. Pretty sure it had "Mercury" in the title, but various Google searches on combinations of "Mercury," "Terry Gilliam," "chimps," etc., didn't get me anything useful.

Other problem is that I'm pretty sure there's an "animals turn against the humans" movie in development right now. Again, can't remember the title. Man, I'm useless.

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